


The Man With The Heart As Cold As Ice

by LissaWho5



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Based on A Christmas Carol, Christmas, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 17:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13104954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaWho5/pseuds/LissaWho5
Summary: Logan Sanders is a rich man with a cold heart. But what happens on one Christmas Eve where three people put his life into perspective?





	1. Chapter One

This is the story of man named Logan Sanders. He is a man with a heart as cold as the coins that he keeps in his safe. 

 

His soul has become ice and he had lost his morality and his wanting to help his fellow man. In return his fellow man had left him cold and alone, he couldn’t recall the last time he had spent a night in his huge home with his family and friends, instead of the typically alone nights.

 

This even applied on a day such as Christmas which is supposed to represent everyone coming together and loving each other because at the end of the day people are people despite their differences. 

 

But Logan seemed to be as cold as ever regardless of the date. 

 

It seemed that he was determined to live that way for the rest of his days, Christmas or not.

 

That was until one peculiar night.  

 

* * *

The evening began just as any other would.

 

He sat at his desk to the company he owned. 

 

His company was one that repaired broken technology at an outrageous price, but since he was one of the only people in town that could fix nearly anything, people were pretty much forced to pay to prices or risk losing an item that could mean so much to them. 

 

On this night he sat at his desk and his only employee, a young person named Joan, who was getting ready to leave. It was nearly 7 o’clock as both were working late, despite the fact it was Christmas Eve. 

 

Logan was working on the financial side of things while Joan was working on a pocket watch for a last minute customer when the door opened. 

 

Both looked up and saw a young boy known as Thomas walk in. Logan looked back down to continue working as Thomas was his nephew, not a paying customer. 

 

“Good Evening Thomas. To what do I owe this visit?” Said Logan, still working at the paperwork he had in front of himself.

 

“Hey Uncle Logan! I’m sorry to bother you at this hour but my dads would like to know if you would like to join us this evening or tomorrow. It is Christmas after all!” He said with a smile. 

 

Logan looked annoyed at his nephew. He took a deep breath in an attempt to keep his patience. 

 

“Thomas every year I deny your parents requests, yet they still feel the need to invite me every year without fail. Now for what logical reason would the expect me to come this year?”

 

“I’m not sure Uncle, but I guess they assumed you would want to see my dad before you know…”

 

This visibly took Logan aback, but Joan only looked at both of them with a pitiful sadness (Though they quickly got back to work to since they wanted to avoid being yelled at by Logan.)

 

“I know what?” Said Logan still taken aback slightly, but he was regaining his cold expression. 

 

“Haven't you heard? Dad has been sick lately and the doctor said that he may get better, may get worse. And I’m sure you recall how my dad can be. “Always wanting to do something” my pa likes to say, well that’s not helping him heal.  And well he’s getting weaker, he may not make it through winter or at least get through it with any energy left to be himself. ”

 

If you had looked Logan closely in the eye you would have seen the briefest flash of sadness in his eyes, a mere glimpse of recollection and pain in his usually cold eyes. But the sadness faded quickly and he went back to completely neutral.

 

“That’s unfortunate but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline your request. This, as I always say, is a pointless holiday and I would like to avoid spending it. So tell your parent to stop asking and as always no. And what in your parents lives are none of my matter. Goodnight Thomas.”

 

Thomas just stared at him, filled with sadness. “But Uncle Logan-”

 

“Goodnight Thomas.” Said Logan firmly.

 

Thomas sighed and left. Only turning back to say a goodbye to his Uncle and Joan. 

 

* * *

Logan was about to close up shop after a long day. Joan had finished their shift and had already gone home. (Though not without wishing Logan a nice evening, for which all they got was a mumbled “good evening to you too.”)

 

As he was about to walk away he heard a someone call out to him. He could recognize that over dramatic voice anywhere. 

 

“Logan! Old pal, how have you been?”

 

It was the one and only Roman Sanders. 


	2. Emotions Of The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old friend spurs a trip down memory lane.

Logan sighed, annoyed at the appearance of the man. He turned around to face Roman who smiled at him.

“Hello Roman. I am well. But, if you don’t mind my bluntness, why are you here?”

“Well I decided to come over and see how it has been for you. It has been quite a while. Come! Walk with me. I’m assuming you’re heading home as well? That means were heading the same direction.”

Logan was tempted to argue and say he was instead heading somewhere else, but he realized that there was nowhere for him to go that would be believable so he decided just go along with whatever this is.

“I am in fact walking home. I can not stop you from walking by me, but if I’m honest I would prefer it if you wouldn’t.” Said Logan, just wanting Roman to leave because he just wanted some peace and quiet and if Roman was anything it was not peaceful or quiet.

“Sorry if you mind but I would still like to speak, I actually have a question for you.” He said as they started their walk home.

Logan just let out a sigh. “Well what is it? What must you know?”

Roman hesitated for just a moment, “Why don’t you ever accept any of the invitations we have sent over the years? I’m not just talking about our holiday celebration, but any of the times we invited you over. You hadn’t accepted them in 11 years.”

Once again hurt flashed in Logan’s eyes, though it was a bit longer this time.

“I’m assuming Thomas told you that I will not be able to attend tonight or tomorrow.” Roman nodded in response. Logan continued with, “I simply do not see value in these frivolous matters anymore. They distract from work, and it’s not like anyone needs more distractions.”

Logan expected Roman to go quiet but instead he only grinned and said, “But you must admit, we had some good times back then. Me and you, the greatest business partners in all the land!” Roman grin grew as he spoke, and when he saw how Logan didn’t say anything he thought he should continue. “Oh and the parties we use to throw! We met so many people in those days, I remember the first time you invited your brother, Virgil. That was one of my greatest days, it was the night I met my true love.” He smiled as he thought about back then and he stopped himself from pointing out that he could see the smallest of a smile on Logan’s face.

“Those times were definitely unproductive. Though we did make some great business contacts then. That helped me greatly when I was trying to build my company. So it wasn’t a complete waste I suppose.”

Roman smiled at that last part. “You could say that. Those contacts have also helped me many times when keeping my store open gets a bit harder. I believe we also met Patton at one of those events. I’m still good friends with him. He still lives in town and he comes over quite a bit.”

They walked in silence after that, though it wasn’t unpleasant, it was just that both men were lost in thought.

The memories that Roman had brought up stirred up something in Loan’s mind. Happy memories surfaced and Logan couldn’t help but smile a tiny bit at the memory of meeting Patton.

-

_It was at a party that they’re former employer was letting them throw at his ballroom, as he wanted the two men he had apprenticed to do well (especially since they weren’t direct competition.) This was the fourth party they had thrown, and the second that Virgil had come too. (Though he spent the entire night at Roman’s side, happy to see him again)._

_While people arrived that’s when he saw him for the first time._

_He was the most beautiful person Logan had ever saw and his breath caught in his throat. His eye went wide and he couldn’t help but stare but he quickly blushed with embarrassment when he realized that the man was staring back at him._

_He came up to him and introduced himself._

_“Hi I’m Patton Smith.” The man, Patton, said with a smile._

_“Logan Sanders.” Said Logan._

_“The Logan Sanders. As in the Logan Sanders from Sanders and Prince Corporations, the newest up and coming business partners.” Said Patton with a playful smirk._

_“Now, I wouldn’t say all that. But yes that is me.”_

_“Well Logan, you do throw a lovely party. Though it’s a bit loud in here, what about we go somewhere more quiet? Where we could maybe speak a bit more?”_

_Logan nodded and they went off into another room._

_-_

  
Logan smiled at the memory and the other happy ones that came up whenever he thought of Patton. Like the days where Patton in him would play in the snow. Or the walks home together that they would take. Or how Patton eyes would light up when Logan gave him a gift. Or how they would curl together in bed, nice and warm, especially compared to the cold world outside. Or how they would spend some nights together with those they both cared about; Virgil, Roman and-

No Logan could not think of that name. That would bring back the pain and he didn’t want to face that pain. He couldn’t. But that didn’t stop the sad memories that took place after it happened.

How he and Patton would get in fights over how cold Logan was being. How Roman and Virgil urged him to grieve in some way. How they urged him to get help from some therapist or someone who had an experience with helping people grieve, but Logan always refused. How he cut contact with the three, left he and Roman’s business to go on his own, stopped going to his and Virgil’s gatherings or answer their phone calls and other ways of getting to him until they, mostly, gave up. How he left Patton on a cold night like this, saying he no longer loved him. Causing Patton to sob and ask Logan “What has made you so cold? What happened to the man I fell in love with?”

How Logan ignored his sobs and walked away. Away from all of this.

After all, if a fire to burns you, you diminish it. If emotions hurts you, well you don’t feel them.

Though there was a bit of regret that he could feel in his stomach, but he pushed it down. He had no time for these feelings.

By the time he was done with his thoughts he was in front of Roman and Virgil’s home.

It was a nice home. It was two stories and had three bedrooms, a nice kitchen, and a nice living room. Though, it was nothing compared to the near mansion that Logan lived in.

“Would you like to come in?” Asked Roman, this being the first thing he had said in a while. “We’re about to start dinner and I’m sure Virgil would love seeing you. He misses you, you are his brother after all. He told me that he wishes to see you, just in case he…” Roman paused for a moment. “Gets weaker this winter. And knowing how he is, it wouldn’t surprise me. Damn the work ethic you two both have.” Roman chuckled a tiny bit, though his eyes showed a mixture of tiredness, sadness, joy, and a bit of hope.

Logan shook his head. “I must be getting home. Though I wish no direct harm to you, my brother, or your son, I do not have such time for such things. And my work ethic is why I’m so successful, you might need to take some notes. ” Logan said in his typical robotic voice.

Roman sighed, though you can see that he didn’t seem shocked by this, maybe slightly annoyed.

“Fine. I will let you go, but at least let me run in and grab a present for you. Virgil had been working on one for Thomas to give you when he went into your shop earlier but it hadn’t been done at the time. It’s done now so I can grab it, if you want it that is.”

Logan sighed but agreed. “Fine but be quick, I don’t have much time.”

Roman nodded at this. “Oh and Logan” He said.

“Yes Roman?” Asked Logan, coldly.

“I… don’t regret working with you all those years ago. And I definitely don’t regret becoming a Sanders when I married your brother. I also don’t regret being your friend and I would like to be friends again one day. After all I could never hate you, you are my family after all, or at the very least the world says I am. ” Roman said, with a slight smile on his face. “On our walk, I started thinking of our fun times in the past I would love to have more. I mean, my optimism with your realistic viewpoint made for some great times.” Roman then frowned a bit. “But I do regret the strain the relationship between us all has. You really hurt Virgil, you know? He had already lost… him and it hurts because he feels that he lost you too. I would hate for things to end this way between you considering how Virgil is doing currently. So I hope you think about visiting or calling him one of these days, it would mean a lot.” He said smiling a hopeful smile.

  
“That is nice, Roman. Though I’m not sure I can do that. But I will admit we had some times that one could describe as “fun.”

Roman smiled still, though it was considerably sadder.

“Whatever you say Logan.” He said with a sigh. “Let me get your gift.”

And with that, Roman took his leave.

-

After a few minutes without Roman returning, Logn began to consider walking away (as going in there was not an option) but he stopped when he saw someone walking out of the house.

Though his eyes went wide when he saw who was walking out. It wasn’t Rman like expected. No, it was someone else, who he had been scared to see.

It was someone who he had left cold,

“Hey Logan! It’s been a while.” Said the man.

It was Patton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think as feedback is appreciated!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!
> 
> Have a lovely day/night!
> 
> -Lissa


	3. Feelings Of The Present

“Hello Patton. And yes it has be a bit of time.” Said Logan. It was then he noticed that Patton was carrying a package.

Patton saw that he was staring at it and smiled at Logan. “Oh this is your gift from Virgil. Roman is sorry that he couldn’t bring it out to you, but Thomas and Virgil needed him, so he asked me to do it for him. He’s also sorry to make you wait.”

Logan bit back a chuckle, Patton was always one of many words. He instead opted for taking the package from Patton’s hands and putting it in the long pocket in his coat.

“This is fine Patton and tell Virgil and Roman I am grateful. However, I must be heading home and I wish you a good night.” Logan began to walk away, but he stopped when he heard Patton call out his name.

“Logan wait!” Said Patton, taking a few steps to catch up with Logan.

Logan sighed. “Yes Patton?”

Patton looked up at him. “Walk home with me. My house is in the same direction as yours. It would be nice to walk home with someone, especially on a night such as Christmas Eve, though I guess you don’t see a point in celebrating still.” Patton sighed. “Just walk with me. I miss our walks and I miss you.”

Logan sighed. Why did it take so much to get some quiet? But he relented and allowed Patton to walk with him.

“Yay!’ Said Patton and Logan told him that they could walk together.

“Isn’t it a nice night Logan? Look around, the world has such a nice feeling of cheer to it. You can hear carolers singing, the bells ringing, and the sound of hope in the air as we walk.” Said Patton, in almost a daze like state as he walked around with Logan.

Logan just stared at him. “It’s unproductive if you ask me. Why waste energy doing foolish things like this, when you can use that energy to do something that can make you a profit? Or at the very least, give you some benefit.”

Patton just shook his head at him. “Tsk. Tsk. Logan.” He said with a bit of a sigh. “Where’s your Christmas spirit? Your good will towards people? Do you ever stop to think how what you do now will affect how you’ll be in the future? Have you not looked around recently? The world is full of joy, yet you keep yourself locked up in the store of yours or in that big house? What even is the point of that big house of yours, it’s not like you share it with anyone?” Patton finally stopped speaking when he realized that Logan was just staring at him.

“What?’ Asked Patton. Not sure why Logan was still staring at him.

“You’re different then I remember. The same passion and heart but your different, a bit more older, wiser, a bit more of a fighter.”

Patton snorted. “Well 11 years and a heartbreak that destroys you, tends to bring out a lot in people.” Said Patton casting him a glance.

Logan tries not to cringe at that remark, so he ops for repressing that guilt and regret that was building up in his stomach. He quickly got rid of the feeling, for now, he had no time for that.

“And as for your questions, I do look around but all I see is foolishness. And my distant future is not nearly as concerning as my present and near future. Plus the last time I checked, what I do with my time and my property should be no concern to you.” Logan said, coldly.

“And to think I would of thought that you would of opened your eyes a bit to what your doing to yourself in 11 year.” Mumbled Patton, shaking his head. Before Logan could question him on this however, he was prevented by Patton saying hello to someone else.

Logan looked up and saw that the person was Joan, who was walking with a kid at their side. They smiled when they saw Patton, though they looked surprised when they saw Logan with them.

“Hello Joan! And hello to you Jonathan! I see you and your parent are walking around tonight on Christmas.” Said Patton with such enthusiasm.

Jonathan giggled at Patton. “Yep! We’re walking home now! I’m excited to get home and see everyone! And Mx. Talyn even said that they even learned a new song to sing.They even promised to teach me! And-” He was cut off by his own coughing fit. Patton gave him an encouraging smile but there was sadness in his eyes.

“Settle down Jonathan. I’m not leaving, no need to exert yourself.” Patton said with a patient smile.

Logan almost smiled at the scene. Patton was always great with kids, he would be a great dad. It reminded Logan of back when he and Patton would talk about adopting kid, back before-

“I’m okay now Mr. Patton!” Said the young boy. “Just that old meany in my lungs being a jerk and making me cough again, but I’ll be fine.”

“If you say so. Though I think it would be best for you to get out of the cold, don’t you agree Logan.”

This was the first time the little boy had looked up at Logan and he smiled a bit when he saw him.

“Hi I’m Jonathan! It’s good to meet you!” Logan looked down at the hyper by. He had to bite away a smile, this was the first time in years someone had seemed truly happy to meet him.

“Good evening, Jonathan. And an evening to you Joan. I assume this is the son you mentioned having?”

“Yes sir. Sorry for interrupting your evening sir, Patton’s right, it’s best for Jonathan to get home and out of this cold. Come along Johnny.”

“Ok Mx. Joan. It was nice to see you Patton! Merry Christmas!” Said Jonathan, giving Patton a hug, which Patton gladly returned.

“Merry Christmas to you!” Patton said with a smile.

Jonathan than looked up at Logan with a smile. “And it was nice to meet you sir! I hope you have a good holiday!” Said the young boy.

It was getting hard to hold back a smile but Logan managed.

“It was nice meeting you as well. And have a nice Holiday, Jonathan.”

The kid smiled at him and was about to say something when another coughing fit took over.

“Come on Jonathan I’m sure Talyn is worried.” They looked at Patton, “Have a merry holiday, Patton.” A sentiment similar to that was given back.

“And again have a nice evening sir.” Joan said to Logan, respectfully to Logan, though it was much colder.

Logan swallowed at how cold Joan sounded, especially compared to his farewell to Patton, but nonetheless he wished Joan a nice evening.

After that Joan took their leave, not without Jonathan excitedly waving behind their back. (Though Logan would be lying if he said that he didn’t send him a slight smile back, after he was sure no one was looking.)

After he was sure that Joan and their son were out of war shot, Patton spoke.

“I’ve always been fond of Joan and Jonathan. Joan’s partner and other kids are also incredibly sweet. Such a shame about their situation.” Patton said with a sigh.

“What do you mean? Prompted Logan.

“Well, much like the most of us,their situation isn’t ideal. They have plenty of love for each other, but money never seems to be enough. I’m sure you can confirm that Joan works hard, but it’s one job against one family with a sick child. I’m sure you can imagine what the finances of that could be. A shame I can’t help them.”

“Well if it so much of a concern to you, why don’t you? Or why not get Virgil and Roman to help?”

“Because unlike you, I don’t currently have the money to help. I’m safe financially, but I don’t have money to give, though what little I have I give to the nice men who give their money to the even less fortunate families. Angels those men are, I swear. Taking time out of their own days to get money so everyone can have food. They’ve helped out so many in this time of woe. Gives me hope for us all. I’m sure you’ve seen them around, haven’t you Logan?”

Logan nodded. He had seen them around. He just didn’t want Patton to know that the men had stop coming to ask for money as often after Logan yelled at them for wasting his time.

“Anyway, more on helping Joan’s family. Despite the fact that Roman would never admit it, he hasn’t been doing much better than me. Virgil’s illness has put not only a strain on them emotionally, but also financially since their only income is Roman’s business, which could be doing better, but it could be worse. Plus with keeping up with a Thomas’s needs and Virge’s medical needs, money can be tight for them. But they do try to give to worthy causes, when their in a position to give.”

Patton smiled bit though he had sadness in his eyes.

“Your brother and Roman, have always had lovely hearts. Always wanting to give, to help make things better now, and hopefully better in the future. Then again I would say that’s a trait that all the Sanders I’ve known in my life have shared.” He then paused and looked Logan straight in the eyes. “Or, at the very least, once had.”

Logan once again had to bury the guilt, regret, and now shame. He noticed how this got harder the longer he spent with people tonight and he hated it.

“Well yes it can be a shame to have hard times, but that’s none of my matter.”

Patton shook his head. “None if your matter? I will never understand you Logan.”

“What?” Said Logan growing a bit defensive.

“Shouldn’t helping people who are less fortunate be your matter? Everyone knows your well off in this town, couldn’t you help out the families around here? And don’t act like you can’t help Joan, they work for you. I know your wages for the hours you have people work and its ridiculous, this isn’t the actions of a man I once knew. And these definitely aren’t the actions of a man he would be proud off!”

“Thats is plenty from you Patton. What I do with my employee and my money is once again no business to you. And I’d rather you not tell me how to live my life. It is my life after all.” Said Logan, Though all the emotions he had been repressing came back and he couldn’t make them go away, so he tried to cover them up with coldness and annoyance, which worked somewhat.

A silence fell over the two as they arrived at Patton’s home. It was smaller than Vigil and Roman’s but definitely not the smallest in the area.

Patton took a deep breath before turning towards Logan.

“It was interesting walking with you Logan and I feel some good could come from you spending time with us now. Or at the least, spending more time out in the world.”

“I make no promises Patton.” Said Logan.

“I know that Logan, sadly.” Patton was about to leave, when he suddenly turned around and gave Logan a bit of a smile.

“Logan regardless of whatever you decide to do right now, know that I don’t ever regret falling for you, and I’d like to be friends. I respect you Logan, though I will admit that I’d respect you more if you weren’t so cold.”

Logan gave a slight smile back, “I regret a lot Patton, but not what we had. And I can make no promises over whatever you want me to do. It was nice seeing you Patton.”

Patton sighed, this not being what Logan got out of their talk but he decided to leave it. He just about to go inside he looked back at Logan. He then stopped and said one more thing.

“Logan I only ask one thing of you; please remember that the present is a gift, what you do with your gift is up to you. Make it worth your wild, you should know more than others how short the time we get on this Earth is. So goodnight Logan, and Merry Christmas.”

Patton said and took his leave.

“Goodnight Patton.” Said Logan. He then walked away to finally get home.

And for the first time tonight he was alone. 


	4. Unknowns Of The Future

A few hours later Logan was sitting in his couch, reflecting on his day.

He recalled how shocked Joan looked to see him with Patton. Had he really isolated himself to the point that being with someone nice was something to be shocked by? And though neither he or Patton commented on it, there were a few looks of shock as they walked passed; is it possible to become so isolated from a community that the mere act of spending time with someone in it surprising?

Logan had never thought about that before. And as much as he wanted to stop thinking of Roman and Patton’s conversations with him, he couldn’t get them off of his mind

He sighed in frustration and he was almost grateful when his train of thought was interrupted by a banging on his front door. The noise startled Logan, as it was one that had not been heard in many years

He went to the door and he jumped when he saw a figure in a black hood on the other side. He stepped away from the door but stopped when the figure spoke.

“Logan! I know you're in there, I can see the light of your living room through the window. It’s me, your freaking brother!”

Logan was shocked. Had Virgil walked all the way here to see him? Virgil was deathly sick, and he walked all the way in the snow? That could not be good.

Logan opened the door and the hooded figure put down his good when he saw Logan and sure enough it was Virgil.

Logan pulled him inside and shut the door. “Virgil?!”

Virge looked at him and was about to say something, but he was cut off by an intense coughing fit.

Logan stared at his brother. Not sure what to do. He hadn’t spoken to him in more than 10 years, not since _it_ happened.

His senses returned to him finally and he got a grip on his brother and put him in a hug.

“Here, let's get to the living room so you can sit down. Plus it warmer in there.”

He was about to open the door when Virgil stopped him.

“That’s not the living room. That’s the sitting room.” Virgil said quietly.

“What are you talking about?” Said Logan, “This is the living room.”

Virgil just stared at him. “You can’t lie to me Logan, I use to live here. Back when-“

“I know. Yes you did.” Logan Said, interrupting Virgil. “But I don’t use that room as a living room anymore, in fact I don’t use it all.”

Before Virgil could question him, Logan rushed him to sitting room. He sat Virgil down on the couch. He put more coal into the fire and and got Virgil some blankets.

“Thanks specs.” Said Virgil, smiling slightly at Logan.

Logan smiles slightly at him to,especially after he called him his old nickname. Though he would never admit it, Logan had always had almost always had a ridiculous soft spot for his brother. Growing up, they had been especially close. Then again, after growing up with parents who were cold, the Sanders Brothers had relied on each other for emotional support. That’s why when his brother had first gotten sick, he was ruined, though he would never let anyone know that, not even then.

Virgil started to cough again and Logan cringed at the sound. Hating the things that it made him think off.

Logan than realized that Roman probably didn’t know that Virgil was here, because the Roman that he knew would never let Virgil walk this far while sick if it was a bright sunny day, let alone on a cold winter night. Especially not alone.

“Roman doesn’t know your here, I’m assuming. Because while I haven’t talked to him much in the recent years, the conversation we had earlier seemed to show that he’s still very much the same when it comes to how he loves you.”

The look on Virgil’s face answered the question, and Logan was not surprised when Virgil said.

“Of course he doesn’t know. As much as I love the man, he’s quite protective and he would stop me if he knew what I was doing. So I snuck out, and we both know that I’m quite good at it. Though I suppose he probably has noticed by now, could you call him? Or tell me where the phone is? I think it’s fair that I quench some of his worry.”

Logan nodded his head and said that he would ring him. Logan left the room and he went to grab his phone. He called Roman, who immediately picked up, his voice frantic and it sounded like he had been crying. Logan told him about Virgil and you could hear in his voices mix of relief and frustration. He then went quiet. Logan was about to ask if he was still there but he was stopped by Roman asking him to keep Virgil there for the night, he sounded like he was begging, and if he had been there in person he would be on his knees begging. Logan assured him that he would, trying to keep his voice neutral and the hurt he felt out of it. Roman thanked him more than he should have to and assure Logan that he and Thomas would be there first thing in the morning to get Virgil. Logan said that was fine, still trying to hide his emotions. Roman wished him a goodnight and once again thanked him. The call ended soon after that.

Logan sighed as he put the phone down. Had he really been so cold that Roman thought that he would let his own brother freeze to death? He knew he wasn’t kind but he’d like to think he had _some_ humanity.

But Logan shook the thoughts out of his head, he had other matters to attend to.

Hw walked back into the living room and was shocked to see that Virgil was gone. Only leaving behind most of his blankets.

 “Virgil?” Said Logan looking around the room as if he expected his brother to appear out of thin air.

He left the room and that’s when he noticed the door to the true living room was open.

-

Logan quickly walked to the room and briefly glanced in and saw in fact that his brother was in their. He had wrapped himself in a black blanket and it almost appeared as a hood. He focused solely on his brother and said;

“Virgil, what are you doing?”

His brother didn’t respond for a moment, and when he did, he didn’t give an actual explanation. He just looked down from the photo he was staring up at on the mantle and looked at Logan.

“I might die soon.” Is what Virgil said, “I might die soon and I don’t want to, but I accept it.”

Logan stared at him. “Virgil do not speak like that. You have a chance.” The taste of speaking of chances and optimism sounded foreign on Logan’s tongue, but he couldn’t deal with another tragedy, not after everything.

Virgil actually chuckled. “Strange hearing you be optimistic. Still, I thought you would understand my need for realism. We were always the left brain nerds of our group. Thomas, Roman, and Patton always had the optimism.” He then paused for only a moment. “I think that’s why they were a good bunch for us to have. They help counterbalance our darkness. I think that why we all got along. I remember being overjoyed when Thomas and Roman hit it off instantly.” Virgil smiled a small smile and his eyes showed a mixture of joy, sadness and recollection.

With the little bit of denial he had left, Logan said; “I can see why one would be happy that father and son get along.”

Virgil just glared at him. “You know damn well that I’m not talking about my son. I can’t believe that after all this time you refuse to accept his death.And not only that you refused to talk about it with anyone, not even  professional or someone who loves you.”

Logan looked away from Virgil. His icy glare and sharp words being to painful. “I don’t see why I have to be up and talk about it with anyone Virgil. We all mourn differently and you should respect that. This also does not affect you.”

Virgil moved closer to him. “Doesn’t affect me? Are you mad Logan? I get we all mourn but this isn’t healthy. You use to be so sweet, but look at at what you’ve become. You’ve turned into a closed off man where even your family has hardly spoken to you. You run a business where you hardly pay your incredibly loyal worker enough to get by, let alone take care of their son whose sicker than me! You even refuse to enter a room in your own damn house! Your coldness has caused not only me pain, my family pain as well. When you broke off your partnership with Roman it through him off guard completely. He had to rebuild and regroup and that was a very hard time for us financially and mentally. We almost lost our damn house and I had to get a job of hard hour of physical labor to get by for a few years. I had to watch Patton, someone I love as a brother, be in complete ruins after you left them, And I know you did that just to shut him out, for some reason I doubt you truly stopped wanting that relationship. He loved you and I know you’ve never felt like that before, I know because you told me. You were going to propose!” Virgil had to stop to take a deep breath to calm himself, not being able to work himself up so much in his weakened state. “And my son, he doesn’t have his either of my brothers. Thomas he understands he can never meet, but you? He just knows that your a jerk. A person the whole town hates. You know that whenever one of us introduces ourselves we get strange looks. Because we can’t be related to _that Logan Sanders._ The one who caused a economic crisis when he sold his factory business to another company, after leaving his business partner, which caused unemployment rates to skyrocket as that factory employed so many. The one the whole town comes together for their general dislike of and honestly general confusion on how someone so nice and well behaved socially could become you. Your hatred is basically a joke in this town at this point.” At this point Virgil was right up to Logan. He put his hand on his face and forced him to look at him. Once they made eye contact he said.

“And if that wasn’t enough, I’ve had to had the pain of not only losing a brother to sickness, but losing a brother to his own refusal to get help. So don’t you ever tell me that this doesn’t affect me.”

Logan just looked at his brother who now had tear tracks in is eyes and Logan would be lying if  he said he wasn’t holding back tears. This is what he wanted to avoid. Being in anyway involved so that he couldn't get hurt again. But why did this maybe hurt more? Even after all this time the sight of one of his brothers, or anyone in his family if he went back to honesty, in pain brought him such a feeling of sadness in his chest.

  
He just stared at Virge, unable to form a response. Virgil must of taken that the wrong way as he let go of Logan’s face, turned around, and sighed. “Why did I try? You obviously don’t care. Here you sit, just looking at me. I try to reach you and all I get is silence. Maybe Roman is right? Maybe it is hopeless.”

It was then Logan finally couldn’t control the tear that came out. He hoped to whatever god was out there tht Virgil didn’t see it but the man had looked at Logan’s face at just the right time and he saw the pain and tears in his eyes.

“Or maybe Thomas was right to have hope.” Whispered Virgil. “Maybe there is pain in those eyes.”

Virgil walked up to Logan once more. “Why won’t you say his name? Why won’t you address  our brother Logan? Why won’t you come home?”

Logan finally broke after the long night of emotions. All the sadness, grief, confusion, not just of the night, but of the feelings that have been locked up for all these years finally broke through.

“Because I’m terrified Virgil! Because I loved Thomas and I was destroyed. I don’t want that to happen again but I know it will. Because one day your going to die along with everyone else I love and I’m scared that in the future I’ll be the last to go and I’ll have to see it all.”

Virgil then did something a bit unexpected; he hugged Logan. And something a bit more unexpected than that followed; Logan hugged him back.

They stood there for a while, in each others embrace both with tears running down their faces. Eventually Virgil broke the silence.

“You can’t live a life fearing the future. It’s coming and we don’t know what will happen. What you can do is live a life where you actions will make a better future, or t least intend to. We know you’ve been going down a dark path it’s not too late to be better. To try to make a good future.”

“Bit if I’m kind it will hurt. Hurt so much when I lose again.” Whispered Logan, a sorrow in his voice.

“It’ll be worth it it. And honestly are you getting any joy at all from this life?”

“No.” Said Logan, a voice with a still quietness but yet still so much emotion.

“That isn’t a good life for you. A fear of the future shouldn’t stop a happy present.”

Logan nodded his head finally seeing it. “I’ve done so much a bad in my time. So much bad while hiding away from my morals. I’ve made so many mistakes. But I want to fix them. I can’t live in fear forever.”

Virgil nodded and smiled at him. “Want to take a first step?” Virgil asked, his voice showing a newfound patience.

Logan agreed. Vigil pulled away from the hug and stook out his hand. Logan knew where this was going and he hesitated only for a moment. He then grabbed Virgil’s hand.

They walked deeper into the room that Logan had been avoiding all these years. New tears surfaced in Logan’s eyes as he saw all the photos of the ones he loved. And he finally looked at the photo on the mantle and he let out a sob. It was of all of them together, before it all happened. They were smiling over dinner, a happy memory of them all. Virgil gave a sad smile at it and Logan shed out the last of his tears. “I miss him so much.” Whispered Logan.

Virgil looked at him. “I do to. He was a good man and a even better brother. I love him, I always will.” Logan nodded and hugged Virgil.

“I’ll be better. Not just for me, but to make things better. I want a good future, a future where I am not known for meaness, but good, like he was. Like you are.”

“You can be nice if you try. You can be sweet, I know it. You took a first step and I’m proud.” Virgil smiled at him a little brighter but then gestured to a clock in the room. “It’s getting late now,and it’s way past my bedtime.” Virgil smirked, it was only then that Logan noticed how weak virgil looked and how he looked so pale and tired.

“Yes I’ll show you to your bed. The only bedroom that warm is mine and I’m sure you won’t mind sleeping there.”

“Of course not.” Said Virgil.

Logan helped him up to his room and put him under the covers. When he tried to leave Virgil asked him to stay as he knew that it was better for someone to be here just in case he got really bad during the night. Logan agreed to.

It was then that Christmas started for the two brothers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay! SO much went against this chapter but it's finally out!
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Feedback is so appreciated!!
> 
> I hopes you enjoyed. Have a lovely day/night!
> 
> -Lissa

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think! 
> 
>  
> 
> Feedback is appreciated. 
> 
> Have a good day/night.


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